“Minnie”

An exercise in silliness

By Sara McDermott

So I joined a writers’ group, nothing formal, just a gathering of fellow scribblers with the same goal, namely to get someone to read our stuff.

Things were going well when someone suggested we try a writing exercise.  Didn’t I get enough of this in school, I thought?  I decided to go along anyway.

The assignment was as follows: describe any inanimate object of your choice and bring it to the next meeting.

With thousands of inanimate objects available I chose my Minnie Mouse key ring.  Why, you ask?  Well, c’mon, Minnie’s sense of style is hard to beat, and she radiates friendliness while hanging from a round steel ring screwed firmly into her skull.  Attached to the uncomfortable looking ring is a string of inter-connected smaller rings that culminate at the top on a larger ring.  This ring has over-lapping ends that can be separated in order to slip keys on it.  Poor Minnie, the more keys I put on the ring attached to her head the more pressure will be put on her scalp.  She doesn’t seem to mind, as her goofy smile is etched into her plastic face, apparently forever.

Professional models would kill for Minnie’s eyes.  Long curled lashes frame sparkling black eyes – no beady look for Minnie.  She looks you square in the eye and can out-stare you anytime.

Minnie is a lady too.  She wears white gloves with her bright red polka dot dress and matching polka dot bow.  The bow is perfectly symmetrical but doesn’t hide her magnificent ears.  Her ears define Minnie.  They sit grandly behind her bow as if holding it  up, and her face reflects her  pride in possessing such an attractive feature.

I wonder how she keeps those big yellow shoes on as she hangs from the steel ring.  I put it down to professional discretion.   After all, she is in a class by herself and can’t risk falling prey to impersonators.

To top if off, Minnie has a stunning body.  Her tiny waist emphasizes her soft curves and toned arms.  The little red dress has puffed sleeves that compliment her ram-rod posture.

As if all this isn’t enough, her smile never wavers, no matter how much I swing her around when opening doors or starting the car.   Her arms are always stretched out in greeting and her face is etched in the kindness of good fellowship.

Minnie, however, hasn’t much modesty.  Her lacy white panties show just below the bottom of her skirt.

I’m appalled, but Minnie smiles on.